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The Black Box

Posted on Mar 3rd, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
Blues manage to burn to black
If they stay long enough
Wouldn't mind if they're all mine
But now I want to lose them
A skin that's bruised doesn't matter
When you're soul is bruised enough
The grass cuts my soles
All that pain etched onto walls
As I carry the black box
With me inside the same
Running in the darkness
To only get lost all over again
The hollow sounds, they rattle
Till they find a place with me
All that noise is killing me
And spinning my swollen head
It neither crushes me down
And definitely doesn't go away
Like I was bound to hold on
To the weight and the walk
All we do is kick and scream
Until we know it doesn't help
Whose idea was it anyway?
Like it matters or changes it
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Tagged with: poem

Write a thank you letter to something you take for granted.

Posted on Mar 9th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 09, 2009:

Rubik's cube



Dear Rubik's cube,

Thank you for being there when I was angry, and when I was uninspired.
And every time you fit into place, it seems like a part of my life did.
So now I carry you around all the time, but never really thank you.
So here it is...Thank you!

;)

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Tagged with: QaR, appreciation, thank you, things, life

What is so terrible about fear?

Posted on Mar 10th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 10, 2009:

Good or bad are highly relative terms. On it's own, everything seems atleast to me to be neither. It's always a combination of a lot of such things that makes it either good or bad. In other words, good or bad are situational. And besides that, it is important for whom it is to be described for. It might be bad for someone, and good for someone else.

And so is fear. It's a sort of a defense mechanism.It warns you from doing things that atleast your head thinks is harmful to you. Sometimes you should go ahead.And somtimes you really shouldn't.
And fear seems to be like a tool for survival.
But the fear system isn't perfect, just like everything else.

Besides,if there wasn't fear, there wouldn't be thrill. I wonder how boring that would be.

Rollercoaster


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Tagged with: QaR, fear, life, possibility

What if we can't save the world?

Posted on Mar 13th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 13, 2009:

Snow Patrol - Chocolate [16:9/HQ]

 
( The video has been removed - so you can watch it here.)
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Tagged with: QaR, hope, world, future

What's the best thing about numbers?

Posted on Mar 14th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 14, 2009:


FUN!

Imaginary Friend



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The Open Window

Posted on Mar 16th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
Thought



-


Dario Marianelli-Denouement
-

"If we must suffer, let us suffer nobly."  - Victor Marie Hugo



Today I looked outside my window with no intention to see outside. And looked aimlessly till the view went blurry.
The thing is, I've always taken care of myself emotionally. And now I notice that I have never asked somebody for strength.Maybe it was/is my ego as atleast part of the reason. Today, I'm the only one who knows how to do that. And I still though. It's not like I've never had people who wanted to. But that's another matter. And today I'm not interested in all that.
I've never really needed someone to be my strength. I've always pulled myself together and carried on and even pushed myself far enough and more without having anyone to actually notice.
The last few years have been really hard. But I don't want to think about that either. But it was hard to take it on my own. And though there were a lot of people who wanted to help, they couldn't. Because nobody seems to know how. I wish it was as easy as popping a few pills and waking up alright. But it isn't. And perhaps, and mostly, it never will be so. I wish I could tell someone, but it's hard to explain something when someone has never felt it, or atleast find the words. The only thing I do get is sympathy, which I so intensely hate.

Happiness is easy. Because happiness and sadness are a state of mind. But pain of any kind, is an experience. And I don't know how to deal with that.

I've been through  storms of emotions that I could never really tell, and perhaps never will be able to. But having done with all that, I could still manage to come out of all that.I've been doing it for years, and even though now it's on a much larger scale, I think I will be able to continue to. Because somehow I can manage. Because somehow I always have.And no matter how much it hurts while it is there, I can take care of it. And it doesn't really matter anymore how tired I can get with all this mess. It all doesn't matter when it's over.

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger."  - Friedrich Nietzsche

 


I'm not really thinking about the future, as I leave it as blurry as the view in front of me. I just do things for their own sake and enjoy it that way. And that's what I'm good at, or the only way I can do things.

Today it seems like I can take care of almost anything that can come and hit me.

You probably won't see any sad entries from me now. Though I will be scared and out of my mind often, I don't want to write about it again. The only thing that I'm worried about is my diminishing empathy, even to myself.


But this really has to end.
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How do I say what you are?

Posted on Mar 28th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
How do I say how I see you?

How do I compare your beauty?

When it grows and blossoms

Beyond the idea of infinity.

More lovely than anything else

That is, can or cannot ever be.

Beautiful itself isn't enough

To hold all that you are.

Isn't there a word for you?

Except your name, my dear

That flows like an eternal song

Through the depths of my heart.

Is love all that is left to compare?

And still not be ever enough

To be as lovely as what you are.

How do I say what you are?

How could I not fall in love?






Love,love, love............How lovely it is to be in love? I can only manage to put these words together and say very little. :)
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Near To The Madding Crowds

Posted on Mar 30th, 2009 by Desafinada : Insanity in a nutshell Desafinada
Reflections





Dario Marianelli - Pride and Prejudice - 06 - Georgiana
-


It has been strange. It really has. And the world is a strange place. Every second of it.

I have been opening up to the world for quite a while.And the chaos of the world has left me disoriented. But I'm surprisingly enjoying it now, with the disorientation.

Definitely, it drives me crazy. But the world is magical. It's like a dream in continuity. There's nothing as unreal as reality.And it carries a strange melanchony with it. That makes life go like a rollercoater. It heavily annoys me and sometimes it makes me laugh.

For now I am laughing. And though it cannot be explained, I hope you all feel it too.

Sometimes I think that this world isn't a place for me, I was supposed to be somewhere else. Not because the world is too bad or good. But because I felt I didn't fit in. But in a clear state of mind I realise that this is the right place. Because we both are mad.

And probably I am going mad, but I'm liking it. Because all this madness gives me the sanity I need. I shouldn't be. But I'm liking it.

Yup, I've finally gone mad.Because I am living my element of extremeties. And that I no longer have much control over myself. But it feels wonderful. I don't know if it's right. Neither do I wish to.

Ah!....life.....and the frenzy of the world.



"To live would be an awfully big adventure" - Peter Pan (2003)


;)
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Tagged with: life