My eldest dog. She was sleeping all curled up. She just melts my heart when she does that.
She's always been the only thing that holds me together. The only place where I find some peace, is with her. She's the reason I can take the world everyday.

She is my joy.

There probably isn't any evil in the world. It's just that some things get uglier than the others. It draws you to miserable pity sometimes.

I don't want to be preachy and talk as if I knew something. I'm always heavily confused to know anything . What I mean is that I'm not saying that the 'earth is paradise'. There are several places you definitely do not want to be in. I'd be delusional if I'd be thinking otherwise. Or at-least I think so.

Anyway, what really got me wondering was that people pity someone who is victim, and if he ends up dealing with his situation in an unapproved way they'd curse him with all the names in a dictionary.
It's completely understandable if someone who is affected by it does that. But then there have to be other people. Other people who hardly having anything to do with, or worse even hardly know about it. They'd do it too. Specially in situations where it didn't matter in a million years what they thought about it. People love to have opinions, even if it leaves them tired and angry at the end of the day. That's something I've never understood.

'What happened to him was wrong, but he should have taken the right way.'

What do they mean by 'should' anyway? As if the "right way" was clear as daylight to him. Realistically you hardly find a "right way" most of the time. Specially when you're really a victim. How do you see anything clearly when the life is being beaten out of your pathetically tired humanity?

I know, a lot of times it isn't that complicated. But sometimes it just is, and you never really know clearly. In either case, opinions, the useless ones, can be spared. But they never are.

Speaking of complicated, which is another matter, is that sometimes it hurts you in the front of you head when you see something with a easy solution being unnecessarily complicated. It irks me in daily life like it used to bother me in mathematics class. In-fact, most of the time there wouldn't be trouble in the first place if people had bothered with their business, or let something that didn't hurt go by. Sometimes I feel that people are searching for a reason to fight throughout the whole day. And I don't mean everybody, I don't know everybody.

I intentionally start a fight too sometimes. Everybody has a sensitive topic and you can fight with them till your lungs die even if you know nothing about it. Specially if you know nothing about it. For the fun of it. But it always leaves me energized and nobody's falling into anyone's bad books at the end of it.
The thing about fights is that it's only productive when the person is uncertain. If a person really believes something, you might pile up a million proofs against it in front of them and they'd still hold on to it like the top of a sinking ship.
There's a boy who I was deeply in love with (and still am). To be honest I talked a lot of bull to him. I've talked a rubbish for years when I was on sleeping pills(which is  yet another story). But the thing was, that he just let it go by. He didn't reject it, nor approve of it. He just let it go by. It always got me, it still does when I think of it. It feels like my heart sank in my chest and butterflies flew out of it and buoyancy lifted my heart right back to it's place. It's cornily random, but it does really feel like that.
Love is a strange thing.
I never really knew the real purpose behind it.To be honest I don't really care. But for the sake of thinking, it wasn't much use to reject it. As if I was going to listen(I'm stubborn as a mountain, but sometimes I do have my senses). It really makes me mad when people accept really nonsensical things you say just so that you'd like them. Well, sometimes it just makes me sad.

But what I really want to say is, that people want to get into arguments that leaves them worn out and depressed. Not intentionally though of course. It's probably the way I make it sound.

What's to be hesitant about using 'sorry' in vain, anyway?. For the love of peace, like it's going to harm you if you do!

If things were only as simple as that.

People never make much sense to me anyways. So I don't take these things to heart.

But every once in a while, you really can't help but wonder.

Have a great fight-less day!

That should probably sum it up.

There's always a storm inside, and in the end I'm just being trouble for myself.

If only I could find some way...

If only.

While on the road I can never pay attention to where we're going. Always have been that way. I've been almost all my life in this city but still don't know most of it's roads (pathetic, I know). I usually get lost in thought, or in the details outside.

And today's morning was just lovely. If there's a God(for the love of grammar), he must be a photographer. The world looked like a giant studio. Everything was right. The position, the amount of light, the angles, everything. It was so right that it was almost magical.The world looked beautiful, even with all it's mess. There wasn't a scene that didn't look so.

I didn't wish I had a camera. It's short duration in existence made it more precious at the time. I didn't want to indulge in the endless and futile debates of the world. What matters anyway?

Tomorrow I may crawl up to a dreary corner in the darkness.

But today, I just want to sink into the comforting thought, that the world is beautiful.